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Angels visit the buffet, devour sixteen LOBsters in loss to Twins

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The pitching did...fine. The offense did...not.

MLB: Minnesota Twins at Los Angeles Angels
The clutch hitting sputtered for the Halos, leaving countless runners on base.
Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

Twins 5, Angels 3

I remember the first time I heard of the article “Consider the Lobster” by David Foster Wallace. It was a Writing class, the first floor of the tallest building on campus. We were buried in the corner of the building, and bam! We get this article to read, on a lowly Friday afternoon, when all I wanted to do was go home and start the weekend. It is an article that talks about the ethics of boiling lobsters alive, throwing them in the pot and keeping there even though you can hear the miniature cries of the lobster. It made for a productive classroom discussion, and frankly, made me think a lot.

On Saturday, the Angels did **not** consider the LOBster one bit. They ordered heaps upon heaps of them, taking the walks and hits from the Twins pitchers and just leaving them out on the bags, like one hangs his or her laundry out to dry. The final tally came out to 12 walks, 7 hits, 1 for 10 with RISP, and just 3 runs, a paltry sum.

After the Twins plated 3 in the top of the 3rd, Justin Upton forced in a run. Luis Valbuena and Upton would add RBIs in the 6th and 7th, setting the stage for a 12th inning collapse.

Highlights of the game include Mike Trout’s 4-walk performance, Albert Pujols and Andrelton Simmons IBBs to load the bases in extra innings, proving that you CAN run away from your problems if you try hard enough, Kole Calhoun and Rene Rivera combining to go 0-10, Nick Tropeano’s quality start off the DL, and Noe Ramirez throwing 49 pitches.

This team comes out to play in fifteen hours. Maybe take your mother out for lunch instead! Avoid the TVs! Avoid the heartache! As long as you don’t order lobster.

Poll

BOTG?

This poll is closed

  • 71%
    Crispy LOBsters
    (58 votes)
  • 28%
    Yeah, there’s not other choice. I just want to see who the contrarians are.
    (23 votes)
81 votes total Vote Now