Bizarro World strikes Detroit, Michigan; save the box score from this Angels win!

Angels 9, Tigers 2

Extra, extra! Read all about it!

Back when I wasn’t alive, allegedly vendors would stand on street corners and try to sell things called newspapers! Apparently people usually weren’t interested, so they would pull out all the tricks to get people to buy their papers. Inventing tales about dragons, exaggerating the actual boring news of the day...whatever it was, the customers ate it up.

As the last investigative reporter in the world (they’ve all gone over to screenwriting), I can report that and truly extraordinary event happened on May 29th, 2018 in Detroit, Michigan. Rather, it was a series of mind-boggling events. The story starts off normally enough. The Los Angeles Angels were in town, and they trotted out their normal lineup of suckitude which included Albert Pujols, Luis Valbuena, Ian Kinsler, Martin Maldonado, and Kole Calhoun. Everything appeared fine, and then bam! The opposites arrived.

In terms of strangeness, rank the following for yourself:

A) Ian Kinsler’s three-hit game, complete with a three-run homer, reaching base four times.

B) Luis Valbuena’s 2-HR game, cherried on top with an RBI single.

C) Albert Pujols and his three-hit game!

D) Mike Trout with only ONE hit and ONE walk!

E) Martin Maldonado’s homer.

F) Kole Calhoun’s o-fer...wait...

Nick Tropeano didn’t have his best stuff, but he worked 5.1 innings of 2-run ball, enough to get him the win. The pen made things interesting, but eventually slammed the door, and the Angels won 9-2 behind four homers, none from Trout, Simmons, Upton, or Ohtani! 5-for-8 with RISP!

What a world in which we live!