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Francisco Arcia 1v9’s the Mariners and comes away victorious in 11-5 rout

The Angels backup backup backup backup catcher makes history against the hapless wayfarers

Seattle Mariners v Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Photo by John McCoy/Getty Images

Francisco. Antonio. Arcia.

It may look like an ordinary name, but it is exceedingly more beautiful than the summation of its syllables. The lilting emphases convene into a euphonic song, much in the same way that the audience in attendance at the game tonight shrieked in harmony, “OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH,” as the ball was lashed into the right field stands.

Arcia would strike chords throughout the entirety of Major League Baseball on this evening as he first matched, then made history. He would finish the game 3-4 with a home run and two doubles. After being a critical component of the Angels win from 2 nights ago, his 6 RBIs on the evening would single-handedly be all the runs that the team would need to shatter the Mariners’ hopes and dreams. It wasn’t just a career night for him though; it was a career week that signaled the best start to a career EVER in a sense:

For all the crap that everyone gives the validity of RBIs as a stat, it is outstanding that he has been able to contribute at such a high level after only... 25 home runs across 12 seasons in the minor leagues. Since 2007, Arcia has been a lifetime .275/.339/.375 hitter with 3 different minor league systems. Even in AAA this season, he had only one more home run (in the hitter-friendly confines of the Pacific Coast League) than he does in 2 games at pitcher-friendly Anaheim. Those 3 home runs were in 168 plate appearances.

—Oh, and did I mention he hit zero home runs last year across both AA and AAA?

There were some other cool parts of this game including the obligatory Trout homer off of King Felix, a Calhoun 2-run double, an Ohtani DRIVE to break the slump, an unreal play by Fletcher on a bunt ground ball, and a great 6 innings from a Jaime Barria who had been struggling since the start of June. But there is no story here without Franky.

Francisco reached in like the Hand of God and pulled out a win. He solo-laned the Northwest Bluesers. He came in like a wrecking ball and never hit so hard before, to quote Katy Perry.

We have seen some impressive performances this year from the likes of Mike Trout, Kole Calhoun, David Fletcher, Shohei Ohtani, Andrew Heaney, and so on and so on...

But nobody, and I mean nobody, will ever have a first two games like Francisco Arcia ever again. Seattle can be glad that they were on the receiving end of the greatest part two of a Major League debut in all of forever.