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HumpLinks: Complete Lame

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Halos escort Rangers’ starter Mike Minor to rare complete game shutout.

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MLB: Los Angeles Angels at Texas Rangers Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

Nothing sums up futility as much as a sentence such as “Nomar Mazara lines an RBI double to second baseman Tommy La Stella.” RBI doubles to an infielder are just not very common. But combine that with the other observation from last night: “Calhoun stars in ‘When HR robberies go wrong’ “. And here we are.

0 runs on 3 hits. On the history of Major League Baseball, nobody has ever won a game when their side scored 0 runs. We didn’t change that history last night. We couldn’t even be bothered to chase the starting pitcher, a rarity anymore. Last night was only the 2nd one in 2019. We only had 42 all last season, with more than 2400 chances. Mike Minor went all 9 innings, giving up only 3 hits and 2 walks and using just 103 pitches. He probably didn’t even need to shower.

Halos lose 5-0.

Endure some Can’t-Be-Bothered-To-Wake-Up-HaloLinks:

(By the way, I am pleased to announce that MLB has restored the search tool in their video highlights.)


A Little Bit Of Angels News

Shohei Ohtani, because he won’t be doing anything other than bat and run bases, can skip a rehab assignment.....But he is looking damned good in the batting cage. Surplus power, even compared to last year....Live pitching is still a week away, but he will still be back in May..........

Cam Bedrosian is not bad EVERY outing. He is more like a roulette wheel that every once in a while hits zero, costing everybody all their chips at once. He also watches too much TV..........

Apparently, for a brief moment the MLB twitter social media maven changed the account logo from the official MLB icon to a modified one that profiled Mike Trout. Minutes later it was gone forever, but not before.....it.....got.....noticed. Somebody must have gotten into trouble back in New York. That last link, from reddit, has the screen scrape..........

Since I am stumbling around Twitter untangling Halo news, Taylor Blake Ward now sees FanGraphs projecting the Angels out to 83 wins, missing the WC by 4 games..........

Kevin Maitan just hit his first Low A home run. We probably should not worry about this kid for a couple more years. He’s barely 19-years old. Call me 4 years from now. I’ll be worried if yesterday is the only home run he ever hits.........

If Maria Torres is going to write about the Angels, she needs to learn how to block Facebook..........


Everywhere In Baseball

Carlos Zambrano’s last meaningful MLB season was way back in 2010, and he is now almost to his 38th birthday. But Zambrano had himself a religious experience and now cites the immortal St. Bartolo, working on a comeback...........

Let’s see. “There’s No Explanation for Why Dallas Keuchel and Craig Kimbrel Remain Unsigned.”.....But hang on a second, “Report: Craig Kimbrel moving ‘closer’ to making free agency decision.”.....Call me crazy but wouldn’t Kimbrel not yet making a decision constitute an explanation?..........

Yep. Here they come. Baseball media attention is rising more and more every week on what I was calling out week 1: these baseballs might be juiced again. The volume, the distances, the exit velocities, the guys hitting them, none of it makes sense compared to just 7 months ago.........And the folks up in San Francisco must feel like they are missing out on all this juicing. They are looking into moving in their fences. They must miss the good old days of Barry Bonds. And just think of all the extra seats they get to install and sell!.........

Seriously, this is going to frustrate me more than it frustrates Red Sox fans. Boston is struggling big time. Chris Sale is a hot mess. But this is April and the Halos won’t get to feast on Boston’s misery. We don’t meet up until late summer and the Red Sox should have restored order by then..........That’s what their GM is hoping...........

FanGraphs takes us deeper into the legal details of the Orioles and Nationals broadcast rights fees litigation. I cannot read anything about this ongoing saga without instinctively thinking that the Nationals can go eff themselves. When you learn the whys and hows behind them landing smack on top of the Orioles market, and you color that with the decades-old screw job that MLB and the Giants gave to the A’s for trying to be good sports, you can understand my pissiness. It’s telling that Jeffrey Loria and then-Bud-Selig-now-Rob-Manfred have somehow managed to make Peter Angelos look (in my eyes) like a good guy..........

Chris Archer uses pine tar on the mound.....Noah Syndergaard uses pine tar on the mound.....Everybody’s using pine tar.....But god forbid any of these pitchers take more than 21 seconds using their pine tar..........

Blake Snell put himself on the IL with one of this year’s stupid injury reports. He dropped a table stand onto his own toe. Now, most people are going to fixate on how Snell chose to re-arrange the furniture in his bedroom right after getting out of the shower. So he was sans clothes. Laugh everybody. For me, though, I am observing how he is clueless about hos is furniture was assembled in the first place. As a DIY’er myself, I find this stupefying..........

News flash: the anonymity and accessibility of social media tools empowers assholes, everywhere. Thankfully, MLB is going to investigate and solve the toxic waste dump that is Twitter..........

The Red Sox DFA’d Blake Swihart. That was their own version of Kevan Smith..........

Thou Shalt NOT Attempt To Take A Leak At Dodger Stadium Without Permission...........

Things are getting serious with the final bidding wars to purchase the FOX RSN’s that Disney is trying to sell off. Keep in mind that this includes FOX Sports West, the RSN that pays Arte Moreno’s bills. MLB has partnered with Liberty Media, Sinclair Broadcasting is back in the mix, and Ice Cube has entered the fray, roping in Serena Williams and Snoop Dog as allies. That last one would be pretty cool. Victor and Gubi could be working for Snoop Dog...........


The Duffle Bag

Yasiel Puig missed out on getting his 2018 NLCS ring from the manager who lost faith in him, because he and his posse had more important things to do. Shopping on Rodeo Drive. They don’t have a Rodeo Drive in Cincinnati...........A warrior for baseball justice has finally given up the fight, almost 100 years after it occurred and 92 years after she was born...........Yu Darvish is probably pretty good at billiards..........Luis Castillo, you are an idiot. It’s not every day that a pitcher gets a solid hit off of Clayton Kershaw. Every other such pitcher took advantage and actually ran the bases..........Neo lives!...........