Cameron Maybin is a vindictive god

The date was May 14th. Bless You Boys, the Tigers counterpart to our very own Halos Heaven, was still and quiet. It was early in the morning, and Detroit fans were sleeping soundly in their beds; for Bud Norris had just thrown away the game the night before by giving up a ridiculous bomb to JD Martinez that everyone saw coming.

The time had come to throw shade at Cameron Maybin, ex-Tiger. An article was begun and, while Maybin collected 3 walks that afternoon, the point was still valid: the Tigers and Al Avila had won the trade.

Brandon Day of BYB had this to say:

So far in 2017, Maybin’s season in Detroit looks every bit the fluke some thought it was. A year after posting an outstanding .383 OBP out of the leadoff spot for the Tigers, Maybin has only gotten on base at a .293 clip for the Angels. His 60 wRC+ in the early going is half the number he posted in Detroit. While he’s pretty clearly suffered from batted ball luck as bad as it was good last year, the Tigers appear in no danger of missing on this one.

Up to that point, he was right. Victor Alcantara, the fireballing prospect that the Angels sent to Detroit, had been dominant. A 2.05 ERA and 3.65 FIP along with one of the lowest walk rates of his professional career had Angels fans groaning. Maybin, in the meantime, could be summed up as a flat-out disappointment through that same stretch of time. Slashing (from the link) .187/.293/.252 while providing very bad defense out of left field, many fans were calling for Eppler to cut Maybin and play the also-failing Ben Revere instead.

Then suddenly, Maybin became awe-inspiring.

Chad Stewart pointed out near the beginning of this stretch of 22 consecutive games in which he has reached base safely, that the explosive offense has coincided with Maybin being moved to the leadoff spot. What if it was just that, though? A coincidence. Doesn’t it seem awfully suspect that Maybin would get moved to the leadoff spot two days after the beginning of his breakout? The answer is pretty obvious.

Cameron Maybin heard about the libelous article being written about him and decided to get revenge! We’re talking about a proud divine creature among men who can blast a small round object blazing almost a hundred miles per hour past him into the opposite seats of an amphitheater 300 feet away! Is it really so hard to believe that he can sense blasphemy and subsequently display power in an unforgiving manner?

There really is no way to explain how a mortal could bat .363/.474/.563. Everyone knows that Mike Trout territory is bordering on

It’s not enough that he started using his special talents as a boost to himself; he also went ahead and worsened Alcantara! Okay, so maybe the prospect’s promotion to AAA has more to do with it than the article and retaliation, but there is no denying that his performance has not been as sharp since Maybin became a wrathful deity. He’s walking 4.4 per 9 innings again and his ERA is 5.02 despite a good FIP of 3.28.

And how else can one possibly explain Maybin’s improvement in defense according to both Fangraphs and Baseball-Reference? Powerful vengeance magic is the sole performance-enhancing drug that can turn a poor defender into the passable fielder we see today. Frankly, it’s just unrealistic to assume that over the course of one offseason, he went from a -11 DRS and -9.8 UZR/150 .player to a 1 DRS and an 11.8 UZR/150 player.

Of course, the strongest evidence doesn’t just lie in the statistics of a player or two. It’s baseball. Anything can happen. A hot stretch and a cold streak do not an otherworldly being prove. Even Danny Espinosa supposedly gets hot sometimes I will believe it when I see it. But consider this: on May 13th, Detroit was a game above .500 and the Angels were three games below. Go on and check the current standings for both teams. Recall how long the Tigers have had JD Martinez back from the DL and how long Mike Trout has been lost to it.

Now what do you believe?