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Breaking: Mike Trout has not been traded

Contrary to what the mainstream media is clamoring on about, Trout is still an Angel

Chicago White Sox v Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Photo by Jayne Kamin-Oncea/Getty Images

The trade deadline has passed and Mike Trout is still an Angel. Phew. That was a close one. Despite what the mainstream media has been saying about how the Angels are wasting Mike Trout’s best year and they need to face reality, etc. He will still be wearing Angels red (and white) tonight in Tampa Bay.

Mike Trout is safe. For now. Let’s look at some of the word on the street about a Mike Trout trade that never happened.

I mean, if the Nationals can waste Bryce Harper’s best years...

Um. no. They forgot to throw in Yankee Stadium and 100 million cash plus the Yankees entire top 20 prospect list.

Everyone says no to that trade, that’s who.

Now we are getting somewhere but they left off Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle.

Bad news buddy. It’s gonna take at least 2 kidneys to trade for Trout and I think you need at least one of those.

I wonder what part of Cleveland all those 62% are in. Or what part of space.

Here is someone who doesn’t even want Mike Trout. Not sure what to do with this one.

The good news? Mike Trout is here to stay. No the Angels aren’t trading him. No the Angels aren’t listening to offers on him. Listening to offers on Mike Trout would be like willing being stuck in an elevator with Mmm Bop playing on repeat for 15 hours because it makes about that much sense.