Good day, and welcome to Halos Heaven!!!
Jessica drafted me to write this, mainly because I was foolish enough to do it in the years past...
Now, because I have a lot of chores to do around the house, plus watching the Halos trash the Doyers, I'm going to skimp a bit and rely on our other veterans to assist in the comments section. But I will give some info...
We have a lot of in-jokes and memes here, so I'll start with the positive ones and add the negative ones if any further on.
- Mike Trout is aweome. He is the GOAT. And he's all ours for essentially the rest of his career.
- That said, Mike Trout is fat. He'd be a great player if he wasn't so fat. This comes from his second season, when he bulked up and put on a ton of muscle.
- GA (Garret Anderson) was lazy. In fact, his name has become a synonym for being lazy. He really wasn't lazy, and I'd explain why, but I'm too GA to do it right now.
- ryanfea is physically unable to catch a foul ball. Under any circumstances.
- I, on the other hand, am old and crotchety, and cannot abide youngsters on my lawn.
- Designerguy enjoys a pants-optional lifestyle. Do NOT stand downwind from him.
- As old as we may be, we are extremely manly. Evidence is here:
- And, of course, our Fearless former leader (screw you Olbermann), Rev Halofan!
- Blazing Saddles (and pretty much ANY Mel Brooks) references are ALWAYS appropriate.
- As are most Zoolander references,
- And Monty Python references
- Even if certain youngsters disagree
- We are also a #cesspool. Keith Olbermann told us so during the Josh Hamilton fiasco.
- We have an unhealthy fascination with the potential availability of Curtis Granderson. This happened about 7-8 years ago or so when he was a free agent, and it seemed that every other post or comment noted that he was available.
- The problem is that if we signed him, we'd be out on Wilson (C.J. Wilson). And his contract would have been 4/58 (which was Buehrle's contract).
- I'm not even going to discuss Albert's contract.
- Jeff Mathis is a Premium catcher. And he's athletic. Did you know that he could have been a QB in college?
- Then there's all the long lost posters (both good and troll)... again, I'm to GA to mention them all, so I'll let you guys do it.
- Mike Trout: Trouty, GOAT
- Andrelton Simmons: Simba
- Jered Weaver: WTY, Dream Weaver, Weave
- Kole Calhoun: Kalhum, The Red Baron
- Jeff Mathis: Premium, Dadgum
- Mike Scioscia: Soth (the typo that wouldn't die), Fatorce
- Albert Pujols: Grandpa, Albertross