Report: The Angels checked in on winning repeatedly, Fans were said to be “asking too much”

In Saturday evening’s news, the Angels were heard to be getting “increasingly active” with the upcoming deadline just under 4 short days away. A prominent reporter from a certain well-known journalistic site was the first to break the story:

Later this evening, The Series officially announced a deal with the Orioles. Why he would go there, I haven’t the foggiest. It appears that Pedro Severino, who came onto the Orioles organization this March as part of the front office’s new analytics team to be their “Angels Killer” and who is an actual person and not just a knockoff Yankee pitcher (I verified), was quite persuasive in negotiations, however.

Dropping the act that I originally intended to hold throughout the entire article, this just flat-out sucks. The Orioles have been good this month, but it’s still disheartening to get beaten by a bunch of waiver claims, rookies, and castoffs, even if there is actual promise in their roster for the future. At this point, does anyone even care anymore that Trout hit his 34th homer of the season? He will win the unanimous MVP in another meaningless season.

The one bright spot on the night was Jose Rodriguez, making his major league debut and pitching admirably against the hellish Baltimore lineup. He induced 5 outs on 16 pitches with 14 strikes. In fact, the once-prospect was the only arm on the night who could throw up zeroes. What a debut.

Tomorrow, the Angels look to stave off a four-game sw... excuse me.

...LOOK TO STAVE OFF A FOUR-GAME SWEEP AT THE HANDS OF THE SECOND WORST TEAM IN THE MAJORS IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING THE FOUR-GAME SEASON SWEEP OF THE BEST TEAM IN THE MAJORS.

Dylan Bundy will face off against something. Stay tuned folks.