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Angels fight the Houston dragon valiantly, but courage alone can’t save them

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Astros 11 Angels 2

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim v Houston Astros Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images

Fuedal lords, unfazed and deaf to the plight of the dissatisfied serfs.

A brave battalion of doomed knights, resigned to their fates.

A beast of legend atop immeasurable wealth with no end in sight.

We’ve all seen this countless times before. For us then to be surprised when the monster utterly cripples our forces, putting the entire kingdom in dire straits with not so much as a raised eyebrow from the leadership is... well, it ain’t good.

Yet, here we are, genuinely feeling some type of way after being outscored by 9 runs with Framber Valdez on the mound. Yes, it is true that Valdez has the threat level of about a Komodo compared to the draconic kin in the rotation, but have you ever seen one in person? What it lacks in terrifying size, it makes up for in its accessories.

And those accessories shredded, singed, envenomated, and mauled the poor souls sent out today. One knight, Sir Taylor Cole, was so beyond recognition by the end of the massacre that only his season FIP of 3.38 (it was 2.98 before the battle) still somewhat resembled that of a human being.

Casualties abound, only Brian Goodwin, and Andrelton Simmons seemed to return mostly unscathed (if at all). You might say they lived to fight another day—or 7, but it is only a matter of time before their fates, too, are sealed.

We continue to endure the demoralizing and heartbreaking fall of our representatives while our farm(s) yield no crops, and the oligarchy above continues to hoard their riches. How much longer? Have we not suffered enough?

The Dragons of the West must be stopped, but nary a sound nor movement from the powers that be has so much as suggested that the end of our torment is near. If this silence should continue, the nobility can expect to pay dearly.